J-scribe

This is the fourth instalment in a continuing J-Scribe series on my problematic pregnancy. See Reborn Part 1, Reborn Part 2 & Reborn Part 3.

Here I sit, on the eve of Bambina’s birth, contemplating the roller-coaster journey of this pregnancy while remembering babies lost.

For such a long time I didn’t dare believe I’d make it to the end of this pregnancy with a living, dancing baby within, ready to face the world. And yet here I am.

In act of self-preservation, I’d corked my excitement. But it was unleashed during the baby shower thrown by my sister and best friend in early June. Surrounded by fabulous women from all the stages – literal and figurative - of my life, I was reminded of both how blessed I was in friendship, and how precious this life inside of me was to so many others. It was such a time of celebration and promise.

A month later, when I reached the 30 week-mark, my obstetrician exhaled with the news “Well, this is an achievement. If she’s born now, it will be OK. We can save her” and I finally believed Bambina was going to make it!

But each time her heartbeat was checked with a stethoscope, or the ultrasound operator ran that cold implement over my belly, I still held my breath until signs of life were detected. Eventually, excited anticipation supplanted apprehension ahead of these regular visits. And bonding with Bambina began in earnest.

But the roller-coaster ride continued…



23/7/09

Dear all,

Well, the countdown has officially begun! Only 3-4 weeks to go now until Bambina’s first birth-day.

And the last stretch of the rollercoaster is proving to be just as ‘entertaining’ as the rest of the ride. I’m now being treated for a suspected case of Swine Flu (which has posed a deadly threat to pregnant women & the unborn despite its relatively benign impact on the bulk of the population). But after several days of lingering between bed & couch, I seem to be on the improve – which is a big relief!

Last week I was battling a badly infected knee – sustained during a nasty fall en route to my last pre-maternity-leave work gig – a televised debate on the latest call to ban the burka in Australia staged at ANU. Bambina made her TV debut while Mummy limped to the podium on her bloody knee!

And it was a sinus infection the week before that…

So, I’m a walking medication cocktail – and a little battle-scarred - but otherwise well. And, more importantly, Bambina continues to thrive.

Many days I still wonder if she’s real – then she dances, kicks & squirms to remind me that she’s no figment of my imagination.

One more round of tests at the Fetal Medicine Unit next week to check on her growth & determine any undiagnosed underlying problems before the final nesting phase begins in earnest. We’re still nowhere near ready for this baby girl to enter our lives - but she’ll be loved endlessly, no matter how disorganised her parents are!

Thanks, as always, for your ongoing care & well wishes…we’re looking forward to sharing the exciting, happy conclusion to this saga with you in a few short weeks! Meantime, please keep the prayers, offerings, thumb crossing/holding, love & cheer coming!

Lots of love

Julie, Tim & Bambina


As the weeks past, her tumbles and kicks became more frequent and fierce but I’ve only ever experienced them as comforting jabs of love… Even at 37 weeks pregnant - with seriously swollen ankles and feet, an aching back, a pummelled bladder and all the usual discomfort and restricted movement of the end stage of a pregnancy in a woman approaching 40 years old – I haven’t felt the slightest bit of resentment or antipathy towards Bambina. This maternal love thing is certainly powerful!

According to her final FMU scan at 36 weeks, her growth had slowed and her development had slid below average…but the specialist obstetrician in attendance declared the tiny fat rolls around her waist, which were evident on the big screen, a sign that she was just a small baby (as I was at birth), not an unhealthy nor under-nourished one.



Nevertheless, I decided to have the amniocentesis which I’d deferred in the second trimester due to the heightened miscarriage risk. I wanted to be prepared if the lingering concerns about genetics manifested at birth.

14/8/09

Dear family & friends,

Welcome to the last Bambina update this side of the womb.

It's been a long, and at times difficult, journey but we're thrilled to reveal that Bambina is finally about to greet the world!

I go into hospital to be induced or have a Caesarean on Monday, August 17th. She's 38 weeks which means she'll be born two weeks ahead of her due date but this doesn't pose a health/development risk and our obstetrician is keen to see her on the outside as soon as possible given her difficult gestation. Not surprisingly, so are we!

And more good news to end the journey... A fortnight ago I had an amniocentesis to conclusively check for the genetic disorders, which earlier tests had indicated she was at very high risk of being born with. The results? Clear! She's a balanced chromosomal work of art :) This was an enormous relief & cause for celebration...joy, I'm sure you all share!

Meantime, I'm feet up on couch again as my blood pressure heads for the stars & my lower limbs threaten to inflate to the point where levitation actually appears feasible... But the good news is: this morning I wrote what I promised the recipients would be my last work-related email before the birth. Wish me luck with the workaholism withdrawal symptoms! :)

As I type, I'm watching the sun fade against the paddock backdrop as Wally(Scottish Highland Coo) balumbers towards me. Peace. Dawn. Exhale.

So, thanks once again for your prayers, incantations, offerings, hugs, love, finger-crossing, thumb-holding etc Please keep it up as the countdown begins in earnest.

Lots of love,

Julie, Tim & Bambina

So, the day we’ve waited so long for…the one we feared would never dawn…when we get to meet our baby for the first time is only a couple of days away. My partner is painting the nursery as I type (better late than never! :) and I’m about to pack a bag of baby clothes to take to hospital for the little girl who lives inside me, who’s preparing to move out. Beautiful surreality.

A kangaroo mother, recently spotted out my kitchen window, whose joey is preparing to leave the pouch.
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