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I have a confession to make…I wear Britney Spears’ “designer” scent. There, I said it. Embarrassed for me? So am I! But before you judge me too harshly, consider the power of this little pink bottle (diamante encrusted, of course) of “Fantasy”.

I have been chased out of lifts, poked insistently in the chest, and watched women, noses imitating Bewitched, cross the room to demand I identify my scent. I usually pretend I can’t remember: “Not sure, sorry. I think it’s in a pink bottle” in preference to confessing my association with the celebrity tabloids’ favourite delinquent mummy.

But this weekend I gave in when two women tapped me on the shoulder and asked, like kids in a lolly shop, “What is that delicious smell? It’s like chocolate mixed with vanilla and jasmine…yum!” I tried to deflect them, but they were persistent and my efforts, futile. I coughed “Britney Spears” into my hand and cringed, awaiting their reaction. Their response: “Who cares? You smell divine!” When I walked past them out of the gallery we were cruising, one of them said “You’d better be careful or some man will come along and eat you up, you smell so good”. "Britney" has apparently entered my bloodstream: I flicked my hair over my shoulder and quipped, “He can be my guest”. “Good for you!” they cheered.

So, what’s so special about this perfume named for the chanteuse my eight year old niece calls Britney Smears without a hint of irony? It’s not particularly pricey; it’s marketed to teenage girls; and it’s incredibly gimmicky…but it does smell edible. An Elizabeth Arden production, it has the backing of an established cosmetics house. They describe the fragrance like this: “Fantasy unfolds with lush red lychee, golden quince and exotic kiwi. It continues with the scents of cupcakes, sexy white chocolate (white chocolate is sexy? JP) orchid and jasmine petals and draws to a close with the scents of creamy musk, orris root (what’s an orris? JP) and sensual woods.”

So, that explains it! I smell like a cupcake…which makes sense. I’m drawn to cupcakes…something about the colourful icing, customised toppings, petite sizing, and those little paper wrappers they nestle in. Case in point: my favourite PJ’s are fuchsia flannelette, coated in chocolate cupcakes and the message: “I’m the cherry on top”. More silly than sexy, but if smelling like a cupcake equates with magnetism…

For the record - I also own and wear other similar smelling, but vastly more sophisticated (read for: over priced), scents.

And, no, I’m not on Britney’s payroll! (Britz: best send those free samples to my PO Box)

“Ooops, I did it again…”

Note: I wanted to write something about Zimbabwe or Rudd’s first hundred days in office but I’m down with the flu and a head full of phlegm means a mind ill-equipped to deal with anything deeper than cupcake-scented whimsy. So, you’ll just have to make allowances.    [read more]